When it comes to divorce and separation, a 50/50 split can often seem fair but is this best for your children?
Remember King Solomon who had to decide which of two mothers held “claim” to a child and who ultimately offered to cut the child evenly in two. Whilst ‘fair’, clearly inappropriate! The same problems and decisions, in less obvious fashion, face separating parents.
Parental separation can have severe detrimental effects on children; with them experiencing escalated levels of anxiety, fear and distress. Their two major pillars in life are being altered, if not, from their perspective, removed.
In younger children these feelings can manifest themselves in behavioural issues. In older children, it can lead to substance abuse or early onset of sexual behaviour, as teenagers grapple to ease their distress.
So what is the answer? As in the tale of King Solomon, the true mother gave up her claim to save the child. This relates well. We must consider not only our own wellbeing (and ‘claim’), but also the wellbeing of our children involved.
If you are contemplating or undergoing a separation or divorce and would like to discuss your situation or concerns from a family law perspective, feel free to contact me for a free family law consultation at firstname.lastname@example.org
By Rob Hollis
The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/
The Adverse Childhood Experiences – Major Findings. http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/findings.html